Ten Ways to Make New Year’s Super Exciting and Fun for Everyone (researched and experienced by the writer herself)

1. Go to your ex’s party, despite your natural misgivings. An especially good idea if New Year’s was the night he asked you out two years ago and the fact that you’re no longer together is therefore particularly stinging.

2. Take two bottles of cheap wine (I recommend Echo Falls for a flavour truly reminiscent of urine) and be well aware of the fact that you’ll probably drink most of it yourself. For seriously hard-core party-goers, hide it all under the coffee table. Then you can get well and truly hammered without too much interference.

3. Drink said wine out of a large mug. Be surprised when people think you’re weird when you joke that it’s tea and that you’re three years sober.

4. Insist that you’re bloody excellent at pool – and do a good job at aggressively beating someone you don’t know, until you pot the white on the black. Then lie on the floor in shame whilst everyone laughs at you.

5. Forget resolution not to smoke at parties. Completely destroy your lungs.

6. Mistime the countdown and try to get everyone started at two minutes to midnight. Be scathingly hushed by several people.

7. At actual midnight, get with your friend’s brother. Your friend’s seventeen year old brother.

8. Lie under the Christmas tree in the living room. When your best friend, understandably concerned by your behaviour, tries to help you move towards the sofa, struggle and angrily refuse whilst declaring that you’re a present “waiting to be unwrapped”. 

9. Get into a drunken screaming argument with your oldest friend. This should occur in your ex’s bedroom. Make sure that there is plenty of snot running down your face whilst you’re crying, and make sure that everyone can hear you howling from the other side of the door.

10. Be sure not to get so drunk that you forget anything. You must remember everything. Yes. Everything.

Happy New Year

Well, I don’t know about you, but I certainly had an eventful New Year’s. Here’s the bit when I awkwardly throw in the bit that says, “Today I’m happy because I have a boyfriend”. Okay cool. Now that’s out of the way, we’ll be moving on.

Anyways, it’s 2012. How weird is that? I don’t really have much to say about it, to be honest. Just thought I’d wish you all a year better than the last one. Remember to keep smiling, look for the happy things, and go to the gym. Naah, screw the last one. Who really cares.

And since that was a very short post, here’s a Bloody Mary recipe, nicked from the BBC Food website, because I bet most of you need it.

Ingredients
1. 2 ice cubes
2. Vodka, double shot
3. ½ lemon juice
4. 6 dashes of Worcestershire sauce
5. 3 dashes Tabasco sauce
6. 150ml tomato juice
7. Pinch of salt and freshly ground pepper

Method
1. Place the ice in a tall glass and add the vodka
2. Add the lemon juice, Worcestershire sauce, Tabasco sauce, and tomato juice. Stir well.
3. Season to taste and serve straight away.

I have to say, that sounds absolutely disgusting. My mate Wikipedia reckons that other ingredients include Piri Piri sauce, beef consommé, horseradish, celery, olive and cayenne pepper. Thank goodness I do not have to resort to that right now. If you yourself do, I offer my deepest sympathy. Don't get so drunk in the future. There's your lesson for the start of 2012.