Wednesday, 25 September 2013

Loneliness and being unhappy

Right now I'm missing someone. Like seriously, badly, achingly lying-in-bed-full-on-crying-because-I-can't-stop-thinking-about-it missing someone. To be honest I actually feel weird that I can formulate sentences to explain it because I don't feel like I'm thinking in straight lines. But I don't really know what to do and I'm more unhappy than I have been for a long, long time.

To be fair, it is the middle of the night and I am massively overtired. But even my usual happy thoughts (country gardens, libraries, London early in the morning, Buffy the Vampire Slayer) aren't really enough right now because my brain won't let me distract myself. The missingsomeoneness is all-consuming and violent and miserable.

I think I should just turn out the light and wait to fall asleep and accept that I'm going to feel bloody lonely all night. There's not really much else I can do, apart from wake up my mum to cry on her shoulder and I think that's a terrible idea because it's three in the morning. I wonder if there's a site on which I can chat to other people who are lonely and can't talk to the person they're missing. That should definitely be a thing.

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