Sunday, 11 November 2012

Poor Charlie

I hope you all know who this guy is.

In case you don't know, he's Charlie McDonnell, he's 22, and he's from Bath, although he now lives in London. He's also one of the UK's most famous video bloggers with over 1,600,000 subscribers on YouTube and billions of video hits. I've been following his channel for nearly two years, as well as listening to his music: he's been in the bands Sons of Admirals and Chameleon Circuit. I'm half in love with him for a few reasons: firstly, because he's just as obsessed with Doctor Who as I am; secondly, because he's hilarious and adorable; and thirdly, because he is just so creative and talented when it comes to videos. 

It makes me sad that the confidence he's gained since joining YouTube has dwindled, especially as I think the videos he's been making this year have been his best yet. There is just no need for his anxiety - he is an exceptionally talented entertainer and he certainly does make me happy. I giggle in almost every single one of his videos. He is intelligent, articulate and engaging. What more could anyone wish for?

Charlie thinks his problem is that he worries what everyone thinks of him. He says that it's other people's perception of him that boosts his confidence, and when he feels unappreciated or unsupported he loses self-esteem. But I think it goes deeper than that; I think that really he's terrified of what he is himself, and his own lack of self-esteem forces him into some paranoid state where he is terrified of what other people think of him. If he can only find a way like himself as much as such an artistic, bright, friendly guy deserves, he won't feel judged because he'll have his own way to be comfortable. I think this is his problem because it's mine, too, and it eats me every day - but I'm learning to recognise it and deal with it without it disrupting my relationships with people who are my friends. I just hope Charlie can learn to do the same. 

No comments: