Deteriorata

Having posted one of my favourite poems on this blog, I realised I didn’t really know very much about its background. I opened up a new window and typed in the address of my good friend Wikipedia. And at the bottom of a lovely little history of the poem, which included some nice stories about how it was found in a church and making the top four, there was a solitary little line that simply read, “Many parodies exist.”

How could I resist.

Within seconds I was googling ‘parodies of Desiderata’ and clicking on the first result. “Deteriorata!” it declared. I read. I wept. I laughed. I recommend.

It’s the chorus that really does it for me. If you haven’t already heeded my recommendation and read the poem, it goes like this:


You are a fluke
Of the universe.
You have no right to be here.
And whether you can hear it or not
The universe is laughing behind your back.


In a way, it’s even better than the original, because it’s just so flawlessly human: sarcastic, dry, and morbid. For all my nattering about seeing the beauty in life, laughing at shit is a lot of fun too.

And the bit that goes, “For a good time call 606-4311; ask for "Ken"” is also really funny.

P.S. In case you were wondering, I’ve decided on minimum twice a week, once during the week and once at the weekend. Plus anytime I am inspired in between. Seem reasonable?

Desiderata

Post every two days? Too often? Not often enough? Remotely possible or unrealistic (I see you all there shaking your heads doubtfully . . .)?

Anyways, I promised I would post y'all a little bit of my poetry. You're lucky I was lying because my poetry is atrocious and I don't think I shall let you see any ever. However, I would be delighted to share other people's with you. This one is a particular favourite of mine. It's by Max Ehrmann, written in the late 1800s, and it's sort of a life lesson in how to keep yourself cheerful. (Enter Noa and her blog on how to be cheerful. Violently grabs poem and posts it all over the internet in an annoying and preachy way).


Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
And remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible without surrender
Be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
And listen to others,
Even the dull and the ignorant;
They too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
They are vexatious to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others,
You may become vain and bitter;
For always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
It is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
For the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
Many persons strive for high ideals;
And everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
For in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
It is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
Gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline,
Be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe,
No less than the trees and the stars;
You have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
No doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
Whatever you conceive Him to be,
And whatever your labours and aspirations,
In the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
It is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.


I could basically stop writing this blog now. That poem literally sums it all up. But I shan't, because I've been enjoying writing again. Until next time, my darlings.