Someone pointed
out to me that my Twitter links directly to this beast which hasn’t been
updated for a solid twelvemonth, so I’m going to sort that out. I considered
various options for how to do this, including paying a ghost-writer to bang out
a post for me as well as just deleting the goddamned thing, but actually doing
this seems to be a sensible form of procrastination from my dissertation, which
for some unfathomable reason has not written itself yet.
First, as
usual, here’s a quick explanation as to why I haven’t been writing my blog. To
be honest, I haven’t been writing anything. I haven’t been a very happy bunny
for the last year or so and I’ve barely been meeting work deadlines, let alone
updating a blog that no one bloody reads anyway (if you are reading, though,
cheers – my semi-efforts are not in vain). I’m going to try and do more of
everything over the next few months, including working, writing, exercise, and
student radio, in which I am trained but uninvolved. I’m not setting New Year’s
resolutions. When I inevitably break them I’ll grow despondent and stop trying.
I’m just going to accept any external engagement or reflection as a success and
be done with it.
I considered
telling my life story in this post but I don’t really have the energy right now
and anyway it’s probably not that interesting for anyone apart from me and my
therapist. I suppose I’ll write it all down at some point so if you do want to
hear about misogynistic bullying, drug abuse, self-harm and lonely meaningless
sex, stay tuned.
But on a
lighter note, and considering that no one is going to read this, I thought that
today I’d focus on my true love, cheese. I’ve written a poem.
Ode to
Cheese
My darling is fair,
Pale gold like sunlight glinting off
flaxen hair
Skin creamy like milk
As smooth as purest silk
Her breath at once pungent and sweet,
Her figure tidy and neat.
Behold! How my archaic English
degree
Has managed to subtly influence me
Into declaring my love through
antiquated, patriarchal stereotypes.
